Tag Archives: Letter’s To Keep

Six Years Without My Mom

I sit here writing this blog post just as I do every year on the anniversary of my mom’s death. I sit here and I still feel the same. I still remember the exact events of this day six years ago. The phone call to rush to the hospital, the drive there that felt like it would never end. Then sitting by her side talking to her. Loving her. Holding her hand with no response at all.

I had nightmares for the longest time after that day. I had nightmares and I grew more and more sad over the fact that I remembered those horrible last few moments better than I remembered anything else.

As time went on… the memories came back and the nightmares faded and now I sit here and I remember things like the time when my brother and I were kids and my mom took us to see the Christmas lights in Broad Street Park then we went and got Happy Meals at McDonald’s. I remember going home and sitting on the living room floor eating my happy meal, looking at my mom and our big Christmas tree all lit up with such joy. I even remember getting a Barbie Happy Meal toy. Crazy huh? The things we remember…

Then I remember the time I met my Aunt Sally, Aunt Peg, and cousin Melanie for lunch in Keene with my mom and took this picture.

I love that picture. I remember my moms pink fluffy coat, her pink glasses, and if I remember correctly.. she even had pink shoes. I guess I know where I get my love for pink, right!?

Then I remember the time my mom took me shopping for my first prom dress. I think this is one of my most favorite and precious memories I have with my mom. I remember how excited she was and I remember seeing the first dress on the mannequin walking by a boutique and we both knew that was the one. Guess what color it was? Yep, pink.

I wish I had that same memory shopping for my wedding dress….

Then I look at Landyn and Lavery. Seeing Lavery sometimes takes my breath away, because she looks so much like my mom. I look at her and see my mom everyday and I honestly believe sometimes it’s her coming back in Lavery. She has her smile and when she smiles and I think of my mom, I would do anything for her to be here to see it too.

Landyn prays for his nana and it makes my heart melt, because I know she would be loving this. She would be soaking this up. I try not to feel angry that she’s not here, but sometimes it’s so hard not to. Six years of these feelings that only seem to be enhanced with time. The memories are still there, but over time they really do feel farther and farther away.

I know it might seem kind of strange to write about this every year when her birthday or anniversary of her death comes around, but my mom and my grandmother did a lot of writing. They are some of my most cherished things and writing helps me get through these really hard days, because even though the nightmares; those bad memories of this day have started to drift away, they’re still always there in the back of my mind and I need to remind myself of the happy memories and the happy times we had, because I know I need to hang onto those to share with Landyn and Lavery as they get older. I want them to know how special their nana was and how blessed I was to call her my mom.

I remember the first Christmas after my mom passed away, my cousins gave me a book called Motherless Daughters.  To this day, I still haven’t had enough strength to make it through the whole thing.

Six years as a motherless daughter and I’m still missing you like crazy. I know my mom is singing this above.

“I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

Recap {2011}

2011 was a year to remember. As we are gearing up for spending our last day in 2011 and ringing in 2012 at midnight, I have to reflect on this past year and everything it has brought me and our whole family. This year certainly brought more joy than 2010 and I feel confident leaving 2011 saying God blessed us this year in more ways than one. So let’s take a look back at this year and reminisce!

January 2011 – Kyle started his new job. After 10 months of living the unemployed life, he started his new job as we embarked on a year full of blessings. What a great start to an amazing year!… I also turned 25 and we found out (on my birthday) we were having a baby girl!

February 2011 – In February, we got to have a 20 week peak at our little lady and my bump continued to grow. We also officially chose her name and made the big reveal right here on Forever’s Like a Dream! We also geared up for a certain little man’s 2nd birthday which was right around the corner in ……

 

March 2011Landyn turned 2! We celebrated with some amazing friends and Mickey Mouse even made an appearance! We also got to take a good 3D look at Miss Lavery as she continued to grow!

April 2011 – Kyle turned 28 and we had our annual Virginia Beach trip with my aunt and uncle! We even got to see this beautiful rainbow and we all felt my mom there with us.

May 2011 - Two awesome friends threw me a fabulous baby shower, we finally got the nursery set up and decorated, and we started a new and special tradition on Mother’s Day releasing balloons to my mom. May and Mother’s Day is always a bittersweet time for me, but seeing LC release the balloons and yell “Love you Nana” was a special memory and moment that I look forward to repeating every year.

June 2011 – We had our last set of family photos taken before Lavery was born and I walked around for weeks having contractions. This was the month that we can now look back on as “the calm before the storm,” because it was our last as a family of three!

July 2011Lavery Elizabeth Crowe was welcomed into the world at 8:55am and was 8lb 8oz and 20 inches long! After watching my belly grow right here on Forever’s Like a Dream, Lavery was born and brought so much joy to our family.

August 2011 – I completed my final course in my BA and graduated college! After all this time and obstacles I’ve crossed, completed my Communications degree felt so sweet!

September 2011 – Kyle and I celebrated our third anniversary together. After five years of dating, a wedding, my mom’s funeral, and two kids later, we aren’t sick of each other yet!

October 2011 – Lavery had her first Halloween and dressed up as a lady bug while big brother was his favorite… Mickey Mouse! We went trick or treating with some very special and awesome friends and LC had a blast! His signature line? “I got CAAANNNNDDDYYY!!!” He even fell on his face once, and still got up screaming for his candy!

November 2011 – We celebrated our first Thanksgiving as a family of four and felt so blessed to have all that we have been given. Look how blessed our family is…

December 2011 – Our first Christmas a family of four. We celebrated this Christmas and Jesus’ Birth, LC even sang Happy Birthday to Jesus in his Christmas performance at school. We reflected on this last year and looked at how lucky we truly are.

I have met some amazing people in 2011 and I’m so thankful for the wonderful friends I’ve made and relationships I have had the opportunity to form. To everyone who came into my life this year, thank you for being you and I can’t wait to see what 2012 has in store for my relationships with you all! This year over all the others since I’ve lived in Charlotte, I finally feel a sense of home and I have some strong friendships I am so thankful for, and I look forward to bonding more and creating even more long lasting relationships with those of you I met this year!

 2011 was one of the best yet! I hope you and your family can look back and see as many blessings as I can and HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2012 be filled with just as many blessings and wonderful memories!

 

Celebrate This Holiday Season with Tiny Prints

Thanks to Jennifer of MommyBKnowsBest, I was invited to a Tiny Prints event on Friday evening. I got to meet some other great local Charlotte area bloggers, have some yummy food at Fran’s Filling Station here in Charlotte, and take a peek at some of Tiny Prints new Holiday collection, along with some of their awesome photo books and more.

What’s New This Season?

I got to see these adorable Ornament Cards. And you know what’s really cool? Jennifer Aniston designed it! Anyone who knows me, knows I am celebrity obsessed, so this is even cooler!

This season, Tiny Prints is featuring an array of celebrity designed Christmas cards. Along with Jennifer Aniston, Eva Longoria, Zoe Saldana, Bridget Moynahan, and Catherine Bell have designed a stylish collection of cards to benefit the Epidermolysis Bullosa Medical Research Foundation.

Photography Tips with Chris Garner of TPS Photography

Getting to chat with some awesome bloggers and look over Tiny Prints assortment of designs wasn’t all I got to experience on Friday night. Chris Garner of TPS Photography was present to give us bloggers some photography tips! I learned I will never consider myself a photographer (although not that I ever would anyway), but Chris taught me some tips to help with my lack of photography skills.

Check out TPS Photography at their website and Facebook  to check out some of his work!

Shopping For Gifts?

And aside from creatively designed Christmas cards, don’t forget Tiny Prints offers some pretty amazing photo books too! I got to see some of them in different themes with both professional and normal pictures we take with our own cameras, and they were beautiful! If you’re looking for unique and personal Christmas ideas, this Holiday season, Tiny Print’s photobooks will not disappoint! The options are limitless, so you have the opportunity to create something perfect for what you’re looking for and tailor them to fit exactly what you’re looking to create.

Make your Holiday season a little brighter with designs from Tiny Prints! I’m excited to spend time going through the large selection to create the perfect Christmas card for my family this season!

You can look through Tiny Prints selection of Holiday cards and choose the perfect design for your family this season HERE.

Tell me… which celebrity design is your favorite? Eva Longoria’s design most fits my personality, but what about yours?

 

What’s Important

Last week, a member of our TMN local chapter Charlotte Mommies and owner of a local business Ivy’s Diaper Service was killed in a car accident. She was carrying her second baby girl and leaves behind a grieving husband and young toddler. I didn’t know Garrett or her family personally and have never been a customer of Ivy’s Diaper Service, but hearing her story and the outpouring of love and support from so many locals makes me really look at my life and think twice about some of the things that sometimes upset or stress me out.

It has made me look at my two beautiful and healthy children and wonderful husband and really feel in my heart what’s important. It’s so easy to get caught up in life and finances, jobs, school, all of our daily activities. It’s so easy to forget to feel blessed when we have food on the table and tuck our babies in at night. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment and sulk over things that mean nothing and complain about things that some people would feel lucky to have.

Hearing the loss that this husband and daughter are going through makes me think about what life would be like if I were to lose Kyle. What would my life be without the people I love and care about? Thinking about this, makes me look up to God and close my eyes and pray for what I’ve been given and pray for this mother who will not live to watch her babies grow. I know what it’s like to lose a mother. I know the pain and grief I felt and continue to feel everyday when she isn’t here with me now. I grieve for her daughter and knowing she will experience the grief for the rest of her life and I feel blessed that I had my mother for as long as I did.

Hearing about a loss like this really has made me reflect on my own and what I have rather than think about what I don’t. I have some amazing friends and family surrounding me and my beautiful children and I am truly blessed and I will continue to thank God everyday for the life that he has given me.

My friend Ashley (owner of Miss Monkey’s Boutique) has set up a Memorial Fund to help Ivy and Mike (the husband and daughter of Garrett.) If you would like to contribue, 100% of all proceeds will go to her family, you can donate here.

Tuck your kids in tonight. Kiss them. Hug them. Tell them you love them. And be thankful and say a prayer for Garrett, Mike, Ivy, and their unborn baby Rosie.

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13

Life as a mommy of two… WHAT!?

WHAT!?… That is what has been going through my mind the last few days. WHAT WAS I THINKING!? We were just starting to have it good. LC is communicating, he is more independent, I could relax in the mornings on the couch and snuggle with him while we watched a movie. What was I thinking wanting these late night feedings, early mornings, and exhausting days?

But then I look at Lavery’s beautiful face and gorgeous eyes… and compare her to my baby pictures and realize this is what life is all about. This is what I live for. My babies. My newborn baby and my big baby. I am so blessed and thankful and even on days like today…. days where I just need some quiet time by myself at the end of a disaster of a day… I’m still thankful and love every moment of watching them grow and being around for every part of it.

Days like today where LC is whiny, Lavery is whiny, LC wakes his sissy up, and the list goes on… days like this, I just need to sit down and remind myself… this too shall pass.

I have many updates I need to give. Lavery is almost 4 weeks old… REALLY!? Where has the time gone!? It happens WAY TOO FAST. I have also pulled out a few of my baby photos. All of this talk about her being my mini me (which I couldn’t be more thrilled about by the way!) But all this talk made me want to take a look at me when I was a baby. Can I just say…. HOLY COW! We are TWINS! I have got to scan those photos and show you to compare!

Lavery also had some FABULOUS newborn photos done I cannot wait to show you! I am just loving having a daughter to dress up in ruffles and bows and pink and flowers and… AHHH! LOVE IT!

LC has started talking… A LOT. He’s been talking for a while, but this is one trait I wish he would not have gotten from his mama!

And oh ya… look at how absolutely adorable this is!? This is my life… you jealous? I know we all “ooh and ahh” over our kids, but this photo is a glimpse into the love of my life and my days as a mommy of two (forget about the fact that I might have lost my sanity for a bit today or I probably walked around with spit up on my shirt for an hour….) THIS is what it’s all about!

Lavery’s Birth

Lavery Elizabeth entered the world at 38 weeks 1 day on July 1, 2011 at 8:55am. Kyle and I woke up bright and early, anxious to meet our baby girl and missing our baby boy at the same time. We arrived at CMC Pineville early in the morning eager to let Lavery’s birth day begin!

I was up all night the night before sick to my stomach and just anxious overall. I knew I would miss LC, but I also knew I couldn’t wait to hold my little girl in my arms. We were blessed with some amazing nurses prepping me for surgery and throughout our stay, I could not be happier about our experience!

Once I was all ready for surgery, they brought Kyle in and he held my hand while we awaited those screams and and kicks that were before us.

The surgery although overall went really well, I was a lot more sick than during my c section with Landyn. I was so nauseated and throwing up (so thankful for the amazing nurses and anesthesiologists who were so informative and helpful!) Even though it was a little more tough for me, the end result was perfect and I am so blessed to have this beautiful and healthy baby girl to hold! Here is a photo of the very first glimpse I got of my beautiful baby girl…. I remember crying even before she came out and as soon as I heard her and saw this face, all of my fears were instantly wiped away and replaced with joy…. check out those CHEEKS!!

CMC Pineville is honestly an amazing place to deliver. Even though I had a c section, Lavery was instantly given to Kyle and I got to hold her in the bed on my way back to our room directly after surgery. Kyle was able to take pictures of her right away (which is something I hated not having after LC was born at Presby) and we have our first photos with our baby girl taken just moments after shew as born!

Once the surgery was over, we were back in our room snuggling and I was able to start nursing right away (which she is doing amazing with!) We were given the most amazing nurses and I have to say a huge THANK YOU to Elizabeth and Megan for being so amazing during our time in the hospital and so comforting. I couldn’t have asked for better nurses to care for both me and my precious bundle of joy.

We brought our own diapers to use, and the nurses were great and cooperative sticking to what we wanted as well! Instead of wearing Pampers, I am proud to say Lavery has been 100% in either chlorine free disposables or cloth diapers from the moment she was born (even in the delivery room!) She wore her very first all in one cloth diapers today and so far, so good! I can’t wait to try some more!

We were in the hospital until today (Monday) and we really did have the best hospital experience. I am so thrilled with my doctor (Dr. Morris of Carmel OB has been amazing throughout my pregnancy and I was so happy she was the DR to deliver Lavery and be on call throughout our hospital stay too!) We brought her home on the 4th of July an she was of course all decked out in an adorable tutu! (You know my daughter is going to be full of fashion!) Throughout her stay, she was dressed in all things pretty in pink (of course) and I have already changed her multiple times since coming home! Here she is in her tutu getting ready to go home and saying goodbye to Dr. Morris.

And here is a photo of her big brother visiting her. We are so proud of the great and cooperative big brother Landyn is and we are so excited to watch them grow up together each day.

We are so blessed with our healthy handsome little man and now this beautiful healthy baby girl. I’ll be honest and say I am so excited she actually looks like me (considering LC is Kyle’s twin!) and she reminds me so much of my mom too. I know my mom is looking down so proud and I am so happy she has the name Elizabeth after two amazing influential women in my life who will always be very much a part of hers too.

Lavery Elizabeth Crowe

July 1, 2011

8:55am

8lbs8oz 20inches

The Guilt….

Being pregnant for the second time is no piece of cake. For starters, there’s NOTHING the same about this pregnancy from my first, so I feel like I’m all new to this already, but when people used to tell me how guilty they felt for their other children when bringing another baby into the world, I never believed them…… until now.

This feeling of guilt for LC and how we are taking the spotlight away from him is killing my heart. He’s my baby. I remember right after he was born, I looked at his beautiful, sleeping eyes and then I looked at Kyle and said “I never want anymore kids. I can never imagine loving another human being as much as I love this one right here.” And after growing up wanting four plus children, my decision in that instant was made. LC was made to be loved by me and no one else. He was my one and only baby and I didn’t want anything else.

….. Then he grew a little older and although that love was still the same, my feelings changes about wanting more kids. We went back and forth and talked about it for a while. Friends got pregnant, babies were everywhere. I knew at that point (once LC was a little older than one) that I would want more kids, and I remember hearing the stories of parent’s feeling so guilty and I just kept telling myself bringing another baby into the world would be so special for him. He would have someone to share things with growing up and another baby would be such a blessing.

Another baby is still a blessing. I thank God everyday for my family and we are thrilled to be bringing another baby into the world, but as I sit here… (and every day or night lately,) I am fighting back the tears crying for my baby…. my baby who’s life is about to change in a million ways. I have spent so much time crying thinking about my baby boy and how he is going to feel when we bring his baby sister home from the hospital and she never leaves.

I know he says “sissy” so much and talks to her in my belly and rubs her, and I know he doesn’t 100% understand the whole concept right now either, but he will be such a proud of terrific big brother. That doesn’t change how I feel. That doesn’t change how much I am going to miss the time with just him… snuggling him in his rocker after naps, snuggling with him in the mornings while he eats his breakfast in my lap, swimming in the pool, reading his favorite books. Those are all things you take for granted everyday, because it’s my life. My life is this boy and it has been the most amazing last few years of my life, but that is soon to all change.

I know I will love this baby girl just as much and have as many special moments, but it scares me so much to think I could be taking some of those moments away from LC. What if there isn’t enough of me to go around for them both? What if I lose those special one on one moments with LC and never get to feel them with this baby girl? These fears are starting to overcome me and as each day gets closer and closer to the arrival of this new baby girl, I’m worrying, stressing, and fearing how this change will affect LC and our family more and more.

I would say I’ve done a pretty good job not stressing out much throughout this pregnancy, but now that the end is near….. it’s really taking a toll. My emotions have been filling my head with this huge feeling of guilt and hope that LC doesn’t hate me or think I’m ruining his life. I look at him now and I feel such an abundance of love that I never want to take away or him to ever not feel. I love this precious being more than words could ever describe and I hope he knows that always and forever.

I hope his sister knows that too. I hope she knows that even though I’m feeling the way that I am right now and I have an indescribable amount of love for her brother, I have the same for her. I just know right now, LC needs me and he needs my attention and I want him to always be able to have that. I want them both to always be able to have that and I pray God helps me through this transition and he guides our family on the path of where we need to be…. together.

I want you to know Landyn Carter… you are my baby. You will always be my baby and no matter where life takes us or who comes and goes in our life, the feeling I have for you will never change. Being a mother is the greatest gift I could have ever been given and you… and your sister growing inside of me are the best part of me and by far my most treasured and greatest accomplishment in life.

I sit here writing these words… putting how I feel into this post, and I cry, because I am blessed with the most amazing life with you and I never want you to feel anything less than the love and joy you have brought into my life.

This Mother’s Day….

Mother’s Day is always so bittersweet. I had a few rough years after my mom passed away and before LC was born, and now that he is here, I want to celebrate being a mother to him, but I’m missing mine ten times as much. Every year when Mother’s Day, birthday’s, or any special occasion comes around, it’s always hard to go through one more of those special days without my mom beside me, but Mother’s Day is so much more difficult, because I should be celebrating motherhood with my mom. She should be here to celebrate this journey and this amazing gift with me, and it still pains my heart more than anything else to know she’s not.

It’s the deepest pain to be raising LC and see him grow knowing she would want more than anything to experience this. She would want more than anything else to hold him and kiss him and be here with me through this pregnancy and do the same for this baby girl. Now that I am carrying our daughter, it kind of stabs even harder, because she is the next generation of us. I sometimes fear I won’t be there for her like my mom isn’t here right now and it makes me dream all over again and wonder what it would be like, how different motherhood would be to be sharing it with my mom.

I am blessed to have some amazing people in my life though and I am so thankful for that. My aunt has been that support system for me my mom would have been and whenever I have a question or anything that I would go to my mom for, I know I can turn to her. I wish I could pick up the phone and tell my mom about LC’s newest word or phrase, or talk about the potty training journey, or my pregnancy, but I am blessed to have an aunt who is so special and caring to be that person for me during this time when I need it most.

Now that I’m a mother, I strive to be that strong support system for LC and this baby in my belly and to be the kind of a mother my mom was to me. Always understanding, strict when I needed rules, and loving. No one would do for me what she did for me growing up and for that, I will be forever thankful. It always makes me sad when I see people take advantage of their mother’s when I would give anything for mine to be back. I know now though what she sacrificed for me and my brother. I know what she felt when she would see me in pain and I know that makes me want to be that much better at my job now, being a mom.

On this Mother’s Day I think about my mom and I smile at her smiling down on me. I want to celebrate the special times I did get with her and share those memories with LC. I can’t wait for him and Lavery to grow and I can tell them stories about her, share with them some of the things she wrote to me, and show them pictures of her so they too, can see what a beautiful person she was. If she could be here today, I know she would be proud and she would be everything that she always was for me and more for my children.

I look at my smiling boy next to me and I look up to God and thank him everyday for what he has given me. This beautiful and healthy boy who runs up to me yelling “mama” with his arms wide open is the most amazing gift I could ever be given. My greatest accomplishment is this little boy and this little girl growing inside of me and I am blessed. I am blessed to have experienced growing up with such a wonderful mom to guide me into being who I am today and my only hope and I can only pray I raise my children in the same way.

On this Mother’s Day, I want to celebrate this gift that I have been given, and I hope all of the other’s mother’s out there will do the same.

 

Over the Rainbow

When I was pregnant with LC, I used to sing him “Somewhere over the Rainbow” all the time. I love that song! I grew up watching “The Wizard of Oz” and I always wished I could be just like Judy Garland.

Ever since my mom passed away and Kyle and I got married and we started our lives together, I think of her often and I wish she were here to be a part of these wonderful blessings in my life. Sometimes though, little things happen to remind me she is never too far away and is always in my heart.

At our wedding, during the time when the officiant was speaking of my mom and my cousin read the “Footprints” poem, a rainbow appeared over Kyle and I. That rainbow was a symbol that my mom was there that day and she wanted me to know that. I think of that often and it’s really rare I ever really notice a clear rainbow, so when I do, I like to think it’s my mom letting me know she’s there with me.

A few weeks ago, we spent a few days at the beach with my aunt and uncle. It was a little chilly and rainy the second day we were there and the clearest rainbow appeared. My aunt pointed it out and we all looked on at how beautiful it was. It disappeared and when my aunt and I started talking about the rainbow at our wedding, it wasn’t long before it reappeared in the sky!

It’s comforting to think of that rainbow as my mom. Especially now that LC is running around and how much I wish she could be a part of his life and with a new baby girl on the way, it’s comforting for me to think of her being able to still see him and watch him grow, even though she isn’t here with us.

As LC grows up, I look forward to tell him about my mom and I look forward to different milestones he will go through that my mom got to experience with me and my brother. I strive everyday to be as strong and special of a mother as I grew up and as much as I wish so badly she were here to guide me in that process, I know deep down, she truly is.

When I was pregnant with LC, I cried a lot over not being able to call her and ask her questions about my pregnancy or to find out what it was like for her when she was pregnant with me. This time, I feel a lot more at ease with it. While I still wish I could pick up the phone and ask her if certain things are normal or if she felt this way, I think growing a few years older has taught me to be more at peace with where she is now. My only hope is that one day, my children will feel and sense that same amount of love I always felt from her and know that I will always be by their side too.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Skies are blue,

And the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true.

Why can’t the past be left in the past?

“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.”
***
Why can’t the past be left where it’s supposed to be, in the past? Why is it so hard for some people to move on? There are so many great things happening and to happen than to worry about the memories of yesterday. Some memories are important to have, to hold onto but, why can’t the ones that have been moved past, do the same for everyone else?
***
“You can’t change the past, but worrying about the present can ruin the future.”
***
We can’t change our pasts, they have what shaped us, what have guided us, and most importantly, taught us who we don’t want to be. We can’t worry too much about what’s happening now or else the future won’t have a chance. I’ve learned to not worry about the things around me because, there is so much hurt and anger that can come between what’s good but, why is it so hard for people to do that? Why is it so hard for people to see where happiness is and should be left alone?
***
“Cancer” is just a word
***
My past is filled with this word, this disease. I saw this quoted somewhere by someone who I really admire right now and look up to, and it means strength and living. It represents these two things that so many people struggle to have. It takes someone you know really well to be so strong and brave against this word to make you realize, life is so important. Life means so much more than bad memories and negativity. Life is about love. It’s about what we have to offer not only ourselves but, the people who matter. It’s about promise. But most of all, it’s about forgetting about the significance of a word and remembering the person you are. The past is the past but, now we are what we are and we are what we have become. Whether it be a stronger person like I am after suffering so many losses but, gaining so much at the same time or, whether it be a strong person going through something horrifying in life and making the best of it and walking into it with a smile, we are what we allow ourselves to be. It’s not about what’s in our pasts or what happened yesterday, it’s about what’s happening now.
***
I remember so many parts about my past but, I am able to move on from them. That’s what it means, that’s what you’re supposed to do. I think we should all take a step back and look at who we used to be but, then be thankful for the person we have become because, it’s about right now. It’s about what we’re going to do to get past it, and what we’re doing to be a better person. What I am experiencing right now, has allowed me to look at what’s important. This baby is important. I am important, and Kyle is important. That’s what matter’s in my life right now. It’s not about an hour ago, a few days ago, or years ago. Why can’t everyone else think the same way?
***
“Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes, a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment… every part of it… will live on forever.”
***
Have you ever heard that quote “Like everyone, and trust no one.”? It’s true. Let what’s imporant live on but, let the other stuff be where it’s meant to be. Stay strong and be who you are. Live for yourself and no one else because, there really isn’t any other way to survive.

With Love,